1. We were on the road for days and no one complained about it, except for those moments when Raymart deliberately/accidentally accelerates up to 80/kph. This is why I stopped driving and asking my father to “please, please lend me the car,” all at once. The road, as I have come to understand it, is not a place for imposing. To control is to be controlled.
2. There was a song that we kept on repeating. Just this one song that had us singing on top of our lungs. We were moved and we were moving. Thank you Up Dharma Down for telling the truth for us.
3. This is how these photos emerged: someone came with the idea of chasing the sunset for the last time. To witness the golden goodbye of the sun and welcome temporary darkness before we resume our fast-paced lives in the metro. In the midst of our silence, something rippled through my thoughts. This is less frightening than running after love.
4. This is an attempt to end this series. A failure, an inadequacy so far but which I cannot postpone any longer. The rarer the endings, the lesser the number of goodbyes now than there were in the past, the harder for me to knot my thoughts close with words.
A lot of times in the previous years, I might have only been pretending to know where I was going. I wanted to be like most of my batchmates—young, bright-eyed, brilliant and determined. So days went by sharing and actually enjoying this dream of making it in the field of mass communication someday.
But deep inside I feared (and sometimes even felt) that I was a misfit. And for every medium that I tried to claim, I meet someone more passionate and capable of owning it than I could ever do. Even if I tried hard.
The constant tug-of-war with uncertainty made me cling harder to pride. In return, pride taught me how to save face and tell things that others would like to hear. "Oh, I want to be part of this television network someday while I write for this lifestyle publication and contribute for this photo agency."
Lately, however, graduate school has been helping me look at things in a different light. Now, even if I have yet to learn a lot, I am more settled with the issues I have had with me since the prospect of a bright future became a really, really big deal to me, or practically since I went to college. I am not going to pretend to know where I am headed, but would it be too much to ask from you to relax and not worry because, for once, I think I am home?